Paul Ryan Shirtless

Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan shirtless photo in a bathing suit

As soon as douchebag Paul Ryan was selected to be the Vice Presidential running mate of douchebag Mitt Romney, the second most searched term on Google was “Paul Ryan shirtless”. Leave it to TMZ to be the first ones to dig up a picture of the shirtless douchebag Paul Ryan.

My analysis? Meh. He’s okay, a little bit of chest hair, but too scrawny for me. Look at those chicken legs. When a guy in his 40s is that skinny, there’s an eating disorder somewhere. Or his work priorities are skewed somehow to accommodate a fetishized or unreasonable workout schedule. Can you really expect to get read importnat legal documents carefully while on a treadmill?

Nice hair, though.

Just like the rest of the long, long list of Tea Party Republicans, you can be sure that both Romney and Ryan are just empty suits and haircuts chosen to be puppets of unnamed corporate forces out to reduce their own taxes for their own selfish needs. Voter suppression, unlimited funding, redistricting, unreleased tax history, on down to bold-faced lies has sunk the political process to a joke. And we’re finding out that Ryan hasn’t even “…run the numbers..” on his name-sake budget plan – because there is no “plan” to balance any budget or reduce the debt he keeps railing about! It’s all about privatization and tax advantages for the rich.

Don’t let them win – even if he has six pack abs!

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Actor Fred Willard Arrested In Porn Theater

Fred Willard on Lavender Lounge TV show

I got to meet Fred Willard in 1991 or 1992 when he was a guest on my old TV show. (That’s me with Fred Willard.) I can’t believe people still go to porn theaters to jerk off. Did he get tired of his VHS porn collection, or were the pages of his old Hustler magazines all stuck together? If he wanted to jerk off at home, all he needed to do was get a membership to Lavender Lounge. It’s only $1.95 for the first day, ferchristsakes.

Actor Fred Willard was arrested on suspicion of engaging in a lewd act at an adult theater, the Los Angeles Times reported Thursday.

Uniformed officers arrested Willard Wednesday night at the Tiki Theater on Santa Monica Boulevard in Hollywood, police told the newspaper. The actor was booked and released on his own recognizance, police Sgt. Chuck Slater told the paper.

According to TMZ, the theater was showing three movies, “Follow Me 2,” a XXX parody of “The Client List,” and “Step Dad No. 2.”

Willard received three Emmy nominations for his role as Ray’s brother’s father-in-law on “Everybody Loves Raymond” and one for his role on “Modern Family.” He is also known for his roles in Christopher Guest films, including “Best in Show” and “A Mighty Wind.”

Willard currently hosts a comedy improv and talk show on ABC, “Trust Us With Your Life.”

Internet punsters have been merrily pointing out that Willard is reportedly scheduled to star in a small film ironically titled “The Yank,” a romantic comedy set in Ireland.

Comedian Paul Reubens, creator of Pee-wee Herman, was famously arrested in 1991 in an adult theater. CBS stopped airing Reubens’ show after the arrest and ensuing controversy, but public sympathy fell heavily with the comic, who received a standing ovation for poking fun at the arrest at that year’s MTV Video Music Awards.

Link: Actor Fred Willard Arrested In Porn Theater

Ruin Porn

beauty in decay

I didn’t intend to take pictures while in New Orleans, but I brought all my camera equipment, Model Releases, condoms and a check book just in case I found some hot boys that needed extra cash. Better to be safe than sorry, but no such luck this time.

With camera phones so readily available, people just take photos indiscriminately, whether they are traveling or just going about their daily life. I often wonder, what are they going to DO with that picture? Will anyone ever see it – or care? Does it just go onto Facebook to die in that vast media vortex?

I cringe whenever I see people on TV after a fire or natural disaster crying about losing “the family photo albums”, but who has photo albums anymore? If you lose or break your phone, do you go through the same sense of loss? Probably not.

So back to my trip, there were a few shots that I did take just by accident. I certainly didn’t need to purposely take photos of rows of quaint houses with balconies, or strange street people, or voodoo this-n-that. I could just as well buy a postcard with a photo that somebody spent a great deal of time to create and get a better shot, but what would I DO with it?

So many would-be art photographers have been flocking to Detroit the past few years to photograph urban decay that it’s become quite cliche. Hipsters are now referring to it as “Ruin Porn”. New Orleans is such an old city that you see bits of it every where you go, so artsy types have a field day stumbling upon dirt and erosion to photograph every five steps. Other hipsters viewing it will gasp at the “beauty of decay” and marvel at the “genius” who snapped it. Barf.

The first shot was out my hotel window overlooking the old buildings surrounding it. I could expound about how the hotel sits on a site that was built by the Ursaline nuns in 1722 as a hospital and how the hotel staff is “not allowed to talk about the ghosts”. Put that picture in a fancy gallery and assholes will go apeshit over it. The truth is I just needed to do a test shot to see if the batteries were still good. (Am I talented or what?)

beauty in decay

Next is a shot from one of New Orleans’ famous cemeteries. Talk about Ruin Porn, people were snapping away at gravestone after gravestone of people they don’t know. I guess I got caught up in it, too, when I saw a mausoleum inscription that read “Society for the Relief of Destitute Orphan Boys 1894″. That should be the name of my new porn site, because that’s what I do – pay destitute orphan boys to have sex with each other for relief.

beauty in decay

In this one, again, I guess I got suckered into following some silly trend of photographing what I eat. In general, why does anyone want to see your scrambled eggs? I thought it was okay to shoot this lunch because it was made of alligator meat and not many people know what it looks like. (It was one of the best meals of the trip, btw.)

beauty in decay

And finally, I snapped this on the last day walking out of a pastry shop across from the hotel. I had walked past that sign in the sidewalk all weekend and everybody I had lunch with missed it, too. It’s such an odd phrase, equivalent to a “Whites Only” water fountain, that I thought I should snap it. After leaving, I actually turned around, went back in and waited in line to ask the meaning of the message embedded in the sidewalk. Apparently, even the proprietors don’t know the history. They think the building might have at one time been an Italian men’s club with gambling, and women were only allowed in a certain section to buy gelato.

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